There’s a popular parenting trend to avoid telling your kids what not to do.
Rather than saying “Jasper, don’t hit your baby sister,” you could say “Jasper, please use kind hands.”
In my experience, in both cases, Ruthie usually gets a love tap from her brother.
There’s truth to nearly all parenting advice, but for this blog, I’m throwing this piece out the window.
Parents, this one is for you. Let me tell you what you should not say to your kids before they go to camp. This one phrase, uttered in one way or another to a teary, nervous, little (or not so little) girl, is about the easiest way to ruin your daughter’s chance of having a great time by crippling them from facing adversity with resiliency and courage.
“If you’re not having a good time, I will come and get you.”
Anything great in life takes a bit of resilience, and resilience is built through facing and overcoming difficulty. This could be the challenge of learning to fall asleep without air conditioning, coexisting in a cabin with 7 strangers, or simply navigating a camp full of newness.
Great things take time, and when it comes to homesickness at camp, that is typically two days. Gretchen, our longtime staff director and resident-expert on campers, always reminds staff that the push to get over homesickness can take up to 48 hours. When we see it continue into Wednesday or Thursday, we intervene with intention and always make the best decisions for the campers and the camp community. Saying that awful aformentioned phrase prevents campers from mentally making it over that hump. When they don’t make it over the hump, they miss out on lifelong friends, new passions, and the wonder of camp.
Illahee is a joyful place, and every camper has the opportunity to experience goodness, belonging, and adventure. At the same time, change can be hard, and the best way to set up your potentially homesick camper for success is to say something along the lines of:
“You can do hard things.
We love you and are excited for you to go on this new adventure.
With newness can come scary feelings, but also the chance for new friends, new skills, and new adventures.”
And if that doesn’t work, just tell them we serve dessert twice a day.
Lucas
What excellent advice! I would NEVER say that,, but many people would. Self-reliance, adaptability, malleability, and assessing what to do in a given situation are life skills that all girls must develop. Thank you for providing them an excellent place to do so,,!